You Can't Get There From Here

So, there's this joke that goes something like this:
Traveler: Hey old man! Where does this road go?
Local: Son, I've been living here my whole life and it ain't gone nowhere yet!


Well, I'm staying in a Schaumburg hotel and attending a seminar in Itasca (less than 8 miles away). It took me 45 minutes to get there because I-290 was in the way. If you're on I-290, you can't get off. If you're not on I-290, you can't get across it.


I could see my destination for about 25 minutes but couldn't get there. What a god-forsaken, **ck-hole this place is!



So, after the conference I needed to walk a bit but, as I posted yesterday, there's nothing but parking lots and highway. So, for the first time in about 2 years, I went to a mall. Woodfield Mall's close to the Hotel.

I entered at the Nerdstroms, walked to the Bored & Failure and walked past the Crap & Sterile. I started to feel dizzy and my eyeballs dried out. I saw nothing I needed, nothing I wanted then started to feel bad and left.

You can't go anywhere if you're no where.

On a good note: My left over Smiling Buddha fortune cookie said, "You will have a party." Awesome!